To Hell with the SUV, I Gots Me a Crossover

It used to be that anyone who wanted to own a vehicle that was capable of throwing anything at it would buy a chunky offroader, like the ironically named Suburban. Soccer moms and middle-aged macho men on a quest to reclaim some of their youthful virility alike clamored over the steel behemoths in the 90s. Back then, most SUVs were basically just truck chasses fitted with Jeep-like bodies, resulting in a vehicle that could not only haul a ton of concrete but also a platoon of twelve year-olds on their way to the state Little League championship.

Or so it used to be. However, as much as I like Big McLargeHuge 4x4's, there was an inherent question on everyone's mind when they saw one of these rolling fortresses on the road: "What happens if that thing hits me?"

In the 90s? This is pretty much what would happen.



Now granted, that's a rather grisly revelation, isn't it? Not that it should come as a surprise to you that the big guy would go Hulk Smash on the little guy in a fight. Still, this was a huge cause for concern - more and more people felt unsafe in normal cars, and traded in econoboxes for Ft. Knox on wheels, believing that they'd be safer.

Except that this was the 90s. No clever stability control. No traction control. A small enough percentage of vehicles had ABS that GM flaunted it on various models like the Lumina and Cutlass Supreme. So, perhaps you'd be safe, assuming you didn't have to stop quickly. Or turn onto an offramp in inclement weather. Or switch directions.

Basically, you were screwed if you in any way shape or form deviated from stoplight to stoplight. But as automakers began to figure that out later in the decade into the next, consumers had begun anew the search for more economical transportation. Enter possibly the worst car of all time, the Toyota Prius. With gasoline prices in America spiking well over $4/gallon (though our European and Asian friends have been paying this price and far higher for decades) around 2004, big SUVs that did 9 miles to the gallon were no longer trendy. Gas mileage was "in."

Yet, the consumers still wanted to retain a sense of command on the road, along with the perception of "safety in size." Enter what the automotive companies call "crossovers," car chasses with SUV-like bodies.



Take the aptly-named Nissan Murano for example. You'd have to be a moron to buy it, an Altima in a new suit. Or the CX-7. Or the failed Endeavor from Mitsubishi. All the problems of an SUV (poor handling, dreadful to mediocre MPG, unwieldy in parking situations) with none of the benefits (hauling room/power, offroad experience). And, despite even BMW's best go at it, the crossover can't defy physics and keep up with a similarly-outfitted car.

All this vain effort because consumers don't want to embrace the hatchback or return to the wagon. But that's just fine with me, especially when I can fit all of my things into the hatch of a 2010 Subaru STi, and I'll still speed shift past you. And get better mileage while cruising.



Do it right.