Carly Rae Jespen wins "Best Artist": Now Go Away, Maybe?

For six months, the annoying, pseudo-hipster/carefree college girl anthem ("Call Me Maybe") has dominated New York pop stations, which is bad enough in my book. But at least I could get some peace easily by switching the station. Then the song crept into retail store playlists, and my psychotic hatred for both Jepsen and her vapid shit pile of a song was born. The song was inescapable; morning news stations played the song's chorus as a jingle, radio DJs and entertainment blogs sang Jepsen's praises as the next big thing, and the goddamn USA Olympic swim teams sang the song in a video. Even our main newsroom was awash with female journos reciting the asinine chorus.


All the while, I silently wished for the end of Jepsen's career.

So of course the cute Canadian won "Best New Artist" at the American Music Awards last night. Close enough? At least it validates my hatred a little bit more - the last time the award was valid in my book was thirteen years ago, when Eminem won. The past five years of music at the AMAs has been particularly weak and formulaic anyway, with Lady Gaga, despite my personal indifference to most of her music, as the sole highlight in the win column. If you're wondering who I thought should have won this year, it's Frank Ocean. Out of those nominated, anyway.

But the funny thing about winning "Best Artist" - it's no guarantee the artist has any staying power. Winners aren't selected on potential talent, but what's "in" at the moment. So no surprise that Jepsen won, really. Her main competition was a group of boys still too adolescent to grow chest hair. Even if ​they​ had won, my point would still be the same - where will these people be in a few years? Just because they're today's big story doesn't mean they've got any real artistry, as is the case with most record company-produced pop acts. The last winner who's proved they'll be here for a while is Lady Gaga, though her place as the parousia of Madonna is debatable.

Before that, the only winner with lasting power in the decade is Avenged Sevenfold (2005 winners), who are still going strong even after The Rev's death. But even they never had the mega-popularity bubble that acts like Jepsen and Lady Gaga have, so they couldn't have a dramatic submergence from notoriety. Gaga had six top ten singles by the end of 2009, the same year she won Best Artist. Jepsen has one. And now that whatever her quirky charm has bought her is wearing thin, she'll go the way of Macy Gray.

I met you in February Carly, and hey, it was crazy. But I hate your music so, go away maybe?